Everyone has demons, even if you don’t acknowledge them. I did this for a long time. The reinforced concrete walls around my entire being kept me well insulated from any feeling I could have possibly had, with few exceptions.
Vulnerability, alcohol, food, or just self-destructive behavior in general (staying out too late, not exercising, etc.) are a short list of examples of demons. Unfortunately, demons are often insidious in nature and rarely have a neon sign saying “demon alert”. It sneaks up and gradually brings people down, and to where they fall back into old, self-destructive habits and thoughts. A friend of mine says, “that is the devil trying to keep you small. Don’t you DARE let him.”
I have worked very hard through personal growth to keep those demons at bay. It has been a struggle to recognize them, and change my mental state into one where I believe I deserve to be successful and happy. I have gotten good at realizing what I need to do to keep that positive mental state. Occasionally, however, I slip. I fall back into old habits, demons, and self-destructive behaviors and thoughts.
This was one of those months for me, and it happens to everyone. The important thing is to self-evaluate, reflect, and kick yourself (or have someone else do it) in the ass to get back to your TRUE self. Your true self DESERVES to be happy and successful. The old story you have in your head that says you don’t and/or can’t is bullshit. You are ENOUGH.