Nature, my life, and grounding

I have always been attracted to nature, and have used to ground me throughout my life.  Be it the woods, water, mucking in a stream, ocean, backpacking, later paddling, you name it, I did it.  So when we literally got all of our winter in one weekend in the northeast  I busted out my snowshoes and communed with nature to settle my ADD mind.  It doesn’t matter how long I’m out in nature, my mind calms and I’m able to focus.

boat sledding II winter 2013-2014

Boat Sledding.  Yes it is as fun as it sounds.

I am currently building my future freedom every day, and sometimes that means short-term sacrifices for long-term, sustainable freedom.  It feels indescribably good to finally know where I’m going in life, and what I am going to do with it.  I’ll get to volunteer and give more than I do now, and I’m changing lives in the process.  Most importantly, my own.

I love what I’m able to do with my life now that I never thought possible, and I’m in love with the fact that I will be able to choose to work very soon because I like it not because I have to.

This is kind of a rambling entry, and I use writing to process things.  So, I apologize if this didn’t make sense, but I needed to write this today because of the various levels of emotions I am feeling today.  Writing and nature are two of my favorite outlets, and that’s what makes this blog so fun.

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Disappointment

The
moment
when
you Realize
They are
Not
the
person you
Thought
they were.

When
Reality
that you
Cannot
drop
Everything,
and
wait
while
they get their
Shit
together.

They
realize,
you have

Changed.

While
they
haven’t.

When
You
realize
that you
have to
factor

Yourself
and
others Relying
on
You
into the
Equation.

Since it
is no
Longer

Just about
the

Shit

You will
Put up
With.

It’s
how it
Affects

Ones
Mindset.

The
rigidity
of your
words,
attitude
still

Haunts
my
Mind

But soon,
it won’t
Matter.

they
won’t
Change,
and
Accept
it’s Not

about
their
Needs
all the
Time.

Momentum

A few months ago my mentor in Arbonne had a vision retreat.  I was in the midst of one of a series of life-defining events that catapulted me into rage, determination, and focus like no other.  It was a respite from the craziness that had consumed my life, and I was deeply grateful for the trainings, inspiration, and passion that came from it.

I left there with inspired, determined action that I never believed I could do before.  I didn’t know this would make this much of an impact on me, and spur into action that I never dreamed was possible.  I finally understand momentum.

too positive to be

The definition of momentum according to the Oxford Dictionary is “the impetus and driving force gained by the development of a process or course of events.” Once you have it, and I have had it on a few different occasions before, it is both scary and exhilarating.  It is exhilarating for obvious reasons.  It is scary because momentum comes with certain expectations, especially if you capitalize on it.  It goes back to my fear of success, which I wrote about before.  It is about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable; going for it and not caring about failing, and most importantly, it is about showing yourself that you can conquer that fear of achievement.

The best part about momentum?  It is Contagious.  I am literally smiling all the time, and I can feel this hum inside of me.  I am full of energy and excitement that threatens to cover everyone with glitter and unicorn dust.  My determination born out of chaos, and the need to be responsible for my own environment has set my soul on fire.  And I’m going to keep going in spite of my fears of success, vulnerability, and change until I get where I want to be.

 

Year in Review

This year has been a roller coaster ride of loss, painful personal growth, healthier lifestyle, recognition, pinnacle achievements in two different passions, many personal revelations, family stuff, and an outstanding blow up in my business.

 

Resolve face

The look of determination

The personal revelations have come from the gauntlet of family events and personal events in my life the past couple of months that have set my soul on fire with focus.  I had written about it before, and the impact on my state of mind and sense of purpose.  The past month I reached the achievement of going into Area Manager in Qualification in my Arbonne business.  I won’t go into what that means here, just know that it’s really important and it means I can build a financial legacy for my family very soon.

A few things happened when this achievement was posted on the ubiquitous Facebook.  My Facebook exploded with people from all over congratulating me; I had people reach out to me privately to congratulate and to tell me how inspired they were, and I was a very humbled, proud person.

This kind of appreciation, love, recognition, and acceptance is not necessarily new for me to receive, especially this past year.  What is new to me is the level of appreciation, gratitude, and just overall sense of happiness and amazement I feel within myself to be receiving all of those things.

This year has been primarily about growing through some very painful (not physical, fortunately) limitations in my life.  Lately, I have realized my self-worth; what an inspiration I am to others, an overall sense of self and what I can give to this world.

It’s an incredibly amazing, gratifying experience to be able to inspire (their words) people I haven’t met yet.  I understand where I am going, I understand what I have to offer, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to get .  Perhaps more importantly, I am not going withhold the belief and gift of inspiration in myself.