I figured out what love is. It’s taken me 36 years to figure it out, and I’m not letting it go. It is loving yourself enough to own your identity, and it is the scariest thing I have ever done. The handful who know me really well and who I’ve confided in know what I am talking about.
I’ve hidden myself in one form of another since I was around 10. It was first because being weird in middle and high school is quite honestly just plain brutal, as some people know. It was much easier to be quiet and meek than smart and bold. In college, I found myself and surrounded myself with like-minded weird people of the best variety. It was rare when I was unapologetically me, though.
I reached a point last year where I was on top of the world, so to speak. There was something missing that I couldn’t quite identify. I finally figured it out and told my best friend. She said literally, “thank God.” It’s the final piece of accepting me. The final piece of accepting who I am, and loving myself for everything that is me. It is scary and amazing. I am ready to do this. To own myself, and more importantly to love myself on an entirely new level of acceptance. This is not the forum to announce such things. If you’ve read through the lines, great. Just know that I am ready, I am coming, and most importantly, I AM ME. If you don’t like it, I honestly pity you. Acceptance is a human trait, and also the cause of the worst travesties of human history have occurred when not allowed.