Limits, Goals, and Expectations

There are a few things in life that can be as crushing as expectations, either by yourself or others (big or small).  There is an immense fear of failure in this country, and probably throughout the world.  This point of view is an immense scarcity in perspective.  I have learned far more from my failures than my successes.  Is it easy to acknowledge failure?  No.  However, there is not much accomplished when you pretend it didn’t happen, or worse, fail to take responsibility for the reason.  In my opinion, it’s only a failure if you didn’t learn from it.  Those eye-rolling, I used to be you.

I made a personal vow to myself in my business that regardless of if I was close to, achieved, or if I  wasn’t even close, I would go for it with everything I had.  I have had experience with doing the opposite because I thought not even trying to achieve it was better than failing miserably.  You know what the result of that little experiment is?  It makes you feel kind of shitty about yourself.  Because there’s doubt on top of doubt.  There’s doubt about your goal/ability to begin with, and then there’s doubt because you may have been able to accomplished the impossible if you gave it your best, die-trying effort.  And sometimes trying hurts, and sometimes it hurts a lot.  Failing hurts, too.

decisions regret

Regret also hurts and lasts far longer than any failure you have.  I have had many experiences in both.  Regret lingers because it haunts your subconscious.  There are a  couple of things crippling about regret.  The unknown of doubt, positive or negative, is a plague on many souls.  What ifs, because what if it worked?  How would my life be different?  The scale doesn’t really matter, either.  Been there, done that.  Big or small, lifetime or daily, the same thinking applies.  However, dwelling on the past and beating yourself up about it does not serve anyone.  Move on and learn how to do it better.

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Day 3, Gym 3

So today was an actual gym, bright and early at 8 AM and it kicked my ass in the best kind of way.  It’s called Nxt Level Performance in Easton, PA on 323 Pine Street. Ollie Thomas just started renting the space, and had been previously working for a different gym before this.  A couple of my friends have been going to his workouts for a few months now, and I had heard much about this man through a friend of mine Peggy.  It was finally nice to meet the man who has really affected her life and body in such a positive way.

ollie's gym

Ollie Thomas at his gym Nxt Level Performance

I can see why they continued with him.  He kicked my ass with a circuit training, which I had never really done before, that included a bit of everything.  Including a lot of cardio and a lot of core ab work.  I think every exercise we did involved some kind of core muscle involvement.  Today proved that my cardio endurance is in serious need of improvement, to say the least.  Ollie pushed me beyond where I thought I could go, but it wasn’t your typical aggressive trainer behavior.  It was more like nudging and overall encouragement.  He made sure I was always doing the correct form, and that was one of his focuses for me today.  He knows I’m doing this 20 gyms in 20 days thing, and he wants to me get the motion right now.  This is why I can see him being quite successful in his new business because he actually cares.  The cost of the class?  A whole five dollars.  Yes, that’s right a 50 minute, almost 1:1 personal training session due to small class size was five dollars.  It was hard, pushed my limits, and activities were quite varied.  A full body workout with cardio achieved in 50 minutes or so is damn efficient.

I’ll have another soreness report tomorrow.  I am utilizing my Arbonne Phytosport line to help heal my muscles, hydrate, and thereby preventing or reducing soreness.  So far it has worked splendidly, along with stretching throughout the day and before bed.   I do think my abs might be sore tomorrow because it really was a hell of a workout for my core.

20 gyms, 20 days

My friend Maria challenged me to this 20 gyms in 20 days thing, and then suggested I blog about it.  Since everything she has ever suggested has turned out to be pretty awesome, I figured why not?  I’m going to be blogging about this journey every day for the next 20 days (I may miss one or two days here and there).  This will do two things:  1) hold me accountable, 2) provide me a written journey of what this will mean for my body, mind, etc.  I’m actually pretty psyched about it the more I realize I am actually committed to doing it.

My first class tomorrow will be a Barre Fitness class that is all core and toning.  Something I need lacking right now, and that needs to be addressed.  I am hoping to find another niche besides paddling, Arbonne, and writing.

DISCLAIMER (I really wish I didn’t have to do this):  I am not a personal training, fitness guru, etc.  I’m a chick who is on a mission to be the best version of myself, and for my little pudge to be gone.  If I can help other people in the process, WOOT.

Year in Review

This year has been a roller coaster ride of loss, painful personal growth, healthier lifestyle, recognition, pinnacle achievements in two different passions, many personal revelations, family stuff, and an outstanding blow up in my business.

 

Resolve face

The look of determination

The personal revelations have come from the gauntlet of family events and personal events in my life the past couple of months that have set my soul on fire with focus.  I had written about it before, and the impact on my state of mind and sense of purpose.  The past month I reached the achievement of going into Area Manager in Qualification in my Arbonne business.  I won’t go into what that means here, just know that it’s really important and it means I can build a financial legacy for my family very soon.

A few things happened when this achievement was posted on the ubiquitous Facebook.  My Facebook exploded with people from all over congratulating me; I had people reach out to me privately to congratulate and to tell me how inspired they were, and I was a very humbled, proud person.

This kind of appreciation, love, recognition, and acceptance is not necessarily new for me to receive, especially this past year.  What is new to me is the level of appreciation, gratitude, and just overall sense of happiness and amazement I feel within myself to be receiving all of those things.

This year has been primarily about growing through some very painful (not physical, fortunately) limitations in my life.  Lately, I have realized my self-worth; what an inspiration I am to others, an overall sense of self and what I can give to this world.

It’s an incredibly amazing, gratifying experience to be able to inspire (their words) people I haven’t met yet.  I understand where I am going, I understand what I have to offer, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to get .  Perhaps more importantly, I am not going withhold the belief and gift of inspiration in myself.

Goals and Disappointment

When a person sets a goal (big or small), and fails to meet it by their deadline, how do they react?  It depends on their perspective.  I missed a big goal last month.  Was I slightly disappointed?  Yes.  Has it crippled me?  No.  I am still determined to get it done.  I was actually filled with so much gratitude because so many of my team members achieved their goals, and the energy that was created will continue into this month to fuel everyone’s business.

Be unstoppable in spite of fears and doubts. Taken from the interwebs.  Unsure of where.

Be unstoppable in spite of fears and doubts. Taken from the interwebs. Unsure of where.

I did not change the goal to fit the deadline.  I played full out until the end.  When you bring it until the end, even if you didn’t make the goal, you feel like you’ve won.  You have momentum that continues to build, and that is an AMAZING feeling.

If you stop before the deadline though, and then give up on achieving it at all?  The pain of regret is worse than the pain of failure, and can stop you in your tracks.  We’ve all been there, knowing that we could have done something more.  However, dwelling on the past and beating yourself up about it does not serve anyone.  Move on and decide to do it better.

Vision and the “New” Reality

I was sending a text to a friend tonight who needed some encouragement.  And all of a sudden I could SEE my path like it was a reality.  And it IS a reality, which is the key to my whole being right now.  I can see myself at the center of the most positive, enlightened people on the planet, and giving them the gift to change their future.  I see myself sponsoring an Olympic C-1 paddler to get their dream of representing their country.  I see myself helping EVERY kid who wants to get on the water (paddling, whatever) when they do not have the opportunity to do so.  I see myself helping hundreds of people learn how to paddle and learn their sense of confidence.

You are allowed to be human.

You are allowed to be human.

I feel calm, almost at peace.  Except at the same time my soul is humming with certainty and purpose.  For the first time ever, I have a very clear vision of what is to come.  I have had a series of epiphanies the last few months, and they have all lead to THIS moment in time.  It has never been this clear, and never with this kind of inspired action.

The best part of my above vision?  I get to that level of achievement that by helping other people get what they want.  For those that know me, it is an innate part of my personality.   I crave it like people crave chocolate.

The weirdest part of tonight was I did not consciously make a decision.  My mind and soul decided for me.  All of a sudden at 9:00 this evening, the timer went “Pop” and it was like an explosion.  And right now, it’s like an all-consuming fire running through my veins to cleanse myself and I really want to run like 10 miles.

I feel epically, utterly different than I ever have before.  Different than last month by ten-fold.  I feel it with a certainty that is unlike any other I have felt before.  This is my life, and I am owning it starting TODAY.

Accomplishment and “Me” Time

I love my life, and the past two days have been inexplicably exhausting and awesome at the same time.  When you accomplish something that originally felt far away and almost unattainable, the feeling is immeasurably awesome.  That is how I felt yesterday.  I got promoted in my business, and just a few days ago I had no idea how I was going to get it done.  I just Believed and Knew I would.

Ocean is magical in the winter.  Photograph taken by Alexis Krukovsky.  Photograph taken at Spring Lake, NJ.

Ocean is magical in the winter. Photograph taken by Alexis Krukovsky.

Something that I had been lacking before.  I said I would get a big goal done, but I wouldn’t actually believe it. Now, I believe it. What a freaking difference that makes.  Previously, I honestly wasn’t sure how much that mattered.  Guess what?  It does.

The flip side is what you need to get your goals done.  I’m talking relaxing “me” time.  Everyone should have goals, vision, and a plan to get it done.  People also however need some time for themselves.  I find, and everyone is different, if I don’t get “me” time, I lose focus.  I spent the night relaxing with one of my closest friends before the start of this crazy month where we both have big goals.  It was a much needed respite, and it restored some sanity to my brain.