Light and Shadow

I
Breathe
in
the

Cold,
Damp
air

as
Darkness
surrounds.

Light
is
bouncing Off
the River
in a
kind of

Dance.

I Let
the
Darkness
Surround
my

Five
Senses

as I
Submerse
myself

in the

Restorative
Energy
of

Light

and

Shadow.

The Shift

Every
Life
Shift

is a
Call

for a

Mental
Reset.

a
Sign of
personal
Progress

Towards
being
the
Best

You.

You’ve
got to
Build

towards
the

Shift.

this isn’t
Magic,
it’s
Work.

My life
and
Mind
has been
Preparing
me

for This

Shift
Moment.

It is a
Break.

signifying
Rebirth
from the
Ashes
of

Poverty.

of
Spirit
and
Mind.

It is
Time
to

Break
the

Cycle of

Doubt.

to
Severe
Limiting
Ties

And
live a
Brave
new
Life
of
Expectation

and
Decided
Determination.

So it Begins

Where do
we Go
from

Here?

I don’t
Know.

This is what
I
Do
know.

Love
trumps hatred.

This is
an
Inflection
Point
for our
Country.

I never
Thought
it would
Come to this.

But it has.

It is
Our
Duty
to show up

Even
Bigger.

Be bigger
than
Hate
and
Repression.

be
Bigger than
Disappointment
and
Anger.

Be the
Light.

Show them
Why
We
Will
Not
Back
Down.

It’s in
our
Blood.

We are
not quitters.

We are
the
Beginning
of a
Revolution.

the
Revolution
of
Love
we
are

Echoing out
to the
World.

This
is
Our
Time.

to
Show
what can be
Done.

It is
our
Responsibility
to show
the world

We are
Better
than

This.

So
it

Begins.

Day 1, Gym 1

Updated for full review.

This is going to be short due to it being late, but my first day of this was pretty cool.  I took a Barre Fitness which is kind of like a bootcamp featuring yoga, all sorts of body movement, and a bit of dance that was a whole body workout.  It was an unique experience because I’ve never done a class outside of paddling and yoga, and it was intense and yet not.  I really liked the instructor who was a good blend of sass, technique, and encouragement.  One of my classmates, who has been doing it for awhile, called her .  I’m curious to see how sore I am tomorrow.  It was at Cornerstone Health and Fitness in New Hope, PA.  And the whole vibe of the place was laid-back, but very informative and not salesy (is that a word?) at all.  I thoroughly enjoyed it, and am looking forward to going back.

When I got an official tour of the place, membership services, etc.  The woman asked me if I was used to gyms because I didn’t have much trouble during the class.  Which I thought was both a compliment and an intriguing question, because I am not a gym person.  I have been a member infrequently, and not anytime recently.  It made me think that maybe Maria was onto something with this challenge and suggestion.  I will keep you guys posted.

Morning Soreness update:  Surprisingly not that sore.  Yay for Arbonne hydration, post workout shake, and stretching before bed.

 

Nature, my life, and grounding

I have always been attracted to nature, and have used to ground me throughout my life.  Be it the woods, water, mucking in a stream, ocean, backpacking, later paddling, you name it, I did it.  So when we literally got all of our winter in one weekend in the northeast  I busted out my snowshoes and communed with nature to settle my ADD mind.  It doesn’t matter how long I’m out in nature, my mind calms and I’m able to focus.

boat sledding II winter 2013-2014

Boat Sledding.  Yes it is as fun as it sounds.

I am currently building my future freedom every day, and sometimes that means short-term sacrifices for long-term, sustainable freedom.  It feels indescribably good to finally know where I’m going in life, and what I am going to do with it.  I’ll get to volunteer and give more than I do now, and I’m changing lives in the process.  Most importantly, my own.

I love what I’m able to do with my life now that I never thought possible, and I’m in love with the fact that I will be able to choose to work very soon because I like it not because I have to.

This is kind of a rambling entry, and I use writing to process things.  So, I apologize if this didn’t make sense, but I needed to write this today because of the various levels of emotions I am feeling today.  Writing and nature are two of my favorite outlets, and that’s what makes this blog so fun.

Clarity

Living without
seeing
is
Punctuated

Often
by
a
Painful,
Life
Changing
moment.

A
Breaking
Point
in
our
Reality,

In
Ourselves.

Only
then
do
we

Get
It.

We
become
Ferociously
focused

Develop
a
Case
of
the
Fuck
Its.

It’s
a
Pinnacle
moment
of

Clarity.

Use
it.

Get
Clear

Get
Visceral

I’m
Getting

This

Done.

Home

I
thought
I knew
what
Home
was.

I
didn’t.

Home
is the
Place
you
can be
You.

Without
judgement,
dismissal,
pettiness

of their
hope
lost.

the
Pedestal
has
been
Demolished
with the
Realization
of this
Heartbreak.

I am
Better
than
that.

I have
Found
my
Home.

In the
most
Unexpected
Place.

It’s
Time
to
break
the
habit,
the
twisted
seal of
Approval

always
Just
out of
Reach.

It’s time
to
come
Home.

Downpour

Downpour

Caught
in a
downpour

Unexpected
violent
awesome.

Walking
out
my
feelings
and
thoughts.

It starts off
as a
sprinkle,
then
steady,
then
deluge.

I bask
in
its
fury

It feels
surprisingly
perfect

Like a
Cleansing,
almost
baptism
by
nature.

The last
two
months
of
self-doubt

Washed

away
like
footprints
in
the
surf.

It’s Time

I was
so
Hurt
for
so
Long.

And
I
Held
it.

Like an
Anchor.

Tethered
to
My
Soul.

It’s
time to
Cut
the
Cord.

I
Forgive
You.

I Forgive
You
for the
Yo-yo
I was
on
when
we
were
Kids.

I Forgive
you
for
Crushing
my
spirit.

I Forgive
You
for the
Ten
Years
I
Felt
Scared
to Let
Anyone
in.

Ultimately.
I
Rejoice.

I
Get
Rid of
the
Shit I’ve
Endured.

I’ve
Broken
through
THE
Barrier

To
Greatness.

Set forth
by
Senseless,
pettiness
of
Caustic
people.

It’s
Time
to be
Me.

It’s
Time
to
be
Free
of
this
tether.

Nature and Respite

The last two weeks, I have sat in front of the ocean at numerous times.  Many at night, and a few during the day.  I have realized how peaceful I am while at the ocean.  I wrote a poem about 2 weeks ago.  How the tide seems to ebb my pain away.  It is still there, and it will be there for quite some time.  The ocean is especially emblematic for how nature seems to center me.  It brings me back to a specific time and place of riding the waves to shore with my nana, or the boardwalk where we watched fireworks.

However, it doesn’t need to be that symbolic.  It can just be soothing.  I was at a park watching the river, and I felt something.  Nana had never been there with me, but the creek reflected her essence.  It had her shine, her bright smile.  And it made me smile because of it.  Things don’t have to be concrete to be real.  Given my background, I have some trouble with that statement.  If you believe it to be real, then it is.  The difference has to be how you reflect on that experience and make it real to the world.

It is there how you truly bring your memory into the world as a living, breathing thing to share with others.

On a completely different note.  This blog has been an amazing experience in so many different ways.  I get to share a personal part of myself (something I am NOT good at) with others I never would have met before, and you get to experience what I write as you want to.  I also get to share my passion for nature, gratitude, my business, and my family in a way I never would have thought possible.  This has been another life changing journey for me this year, and it’s JUST begun.  Thank you to all of you who have subscribed so far, I feel honored.  I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am.