I wrote this a few weeks ago on Facebook. I had such a positive response, I am posting it here. Usually it is the other way around. I usually write it here, and then post on Facebook. Except this message is so profound judging by the response to it; I wanted the Blogosphere to see it. Enjoy, and so grateful for all of you to be on this ever expanding journey with me. There are some points in your life, where you ask one of the following (and they all suck and they are ALL uber scary), “what the frak am I doing”? Or “where am I going”? Or my personal favorite at the moment, “that’s my lid universe? For real? Can’t I realize my greatness with any other question but THAT?”
I’m here to tell you, unfortunately, “Yes”. Your defining moments will be when you OWN your scariest, darkest, and real emotion in your life. They will bring you to task to see if you are ready. To tell the world to frak off if need be.
I feel this massive shift coming, and tonight I realized what that would entail. It is that deep down kind of fear and shame that comes with real change. When you embrace your “real” self and basically say, “oh shit. I better get going with that.”
This is not to say that your goal has to be big and life transforming. What I am conveying that no matter how small or big your obstacle is, it comes down to your self-worth and faith in yourself. I have recently realized this, and it’s a sobering fact to accept. I love all of you for being on this journey with you.
If something tugs at your heart strings AT ALL. Just go for it. You and I are lot alike that way, and I appreciate you taking the time to write it.
The truth is … I’m a failure.
It took me a long time to graduate college
Failed in my Arbonne business over and over.
Failed at writing
Failed at exercising consistently for most of my adult life
Failed at backpacking
Failed A LOT at paddling (lots of swimming)
Failed at eating the right way
Failed at being disciplined
Failed at being a good family member.
Failed at being in relationships
Failed to live up to my own expectations
Failed at being my true self until recently
Failed at being ME
and Accepting the real ME.
And the world didn’t end. I moved on and tried again. To be better every day.
I am not perfect, and I don’t want to be. It’s damaging, unattainable, and extremely unrealistic to think you or someone else can be perfect.
If you watch me on Facebook thinking that this happened in a poof, and I didn’t work my ass off to be where I am, you would be severely mistaken. I have bled (literally), gotten bruised, been sore, written badly, read, cried, and been told I couldn’t accomplish something many times. I am blessed to be infused with grit and determination because the universe has given me the strength to learn from my failures. So what you see now is the result of a tremendous amount of work.
I am brave enough to embrace the failures and challenges, and turn them into success and opportunity. My experiences, the good, the bad, and the painful, have all gotten me here. It is learning through them that I am successful. It is only a mistake if you fail to learn from it. The choice is yours. Let your failures define you, or let them teach you.