Moving On

The worst part of moving on is realizing that you’ve been a jackass for way too long.  I had been clinging in some odd way to my previous life.  It was like I owed my previous life of co-dependence something.  I don’t, and I won’t any longer.

fear pass, regret not

Being vulnerable is a love-hate relationship with me.  This blog is definitely a part of that journey.  I express myself much better in writing than I do at any other form, so this blog is a major source of release and equal scariness.  I can connect with people on a way I rarely feel comfortable doing.  Real, vulnerable, scary, and it’s all me.  When I am with people in public, even most of my friends, they rarely see any of the above.  Unless my guard is down.

This entry is going to be a bunch of free-thought.   If you don’t follow it, that’s okay.  If you don’t like it, equally okay.  I haven’t been writing as much, which is always a red-flag for me. We are all in a battle for dominance in our own heads.  It is our will that determines whether the ego or our true self wins.

The Beginning

My life has been a series of transitions, as I think most people’s are.  For me, I found myself in college.  I didn’t have to be invisible anymore in college.  I agree this is often a theme on my blog, but it’s an important one.  I was actually for the first comfortable with myself and other people.  High school were not the best years of my life, it was full of years of hiding and pretending I was okay.  It was also were I had way better relationships with my teachers than with my peers.

Next transition was home from college.  I was back to being self-conscious and apologizing all the time when I got my first “professional” job.  There are many amazing things that came from that first job, but the best was being fired.  It led to a series of things that brought me to my friend Jenny.  Who introduced me to Arbonne, the best decision I have ever made in my entire life.

The Middle

The transition into entrepreneur was much longer than I thought it should have been.   The amazing thing about being in network marketing and entrepreneur enterprise in general is there is no time table.  I have finally taking control of most of my life, and it’s the best thing I could have ever hoped it to be.  There are more transitions to go, but this one was where I knew I could kick ass and change lives at the same time.

And yet, I still had not yet let go of my co-dependency.  I still lived under a roof that was both freeing and oppressive.  It was weird and it was not a home anymore.  I finally broke that cord in August.

personal style


I didn’t realize I hadn’t moved on from that until this week.  I have my apartment set up with the major things:  bed, kitchen table, kitchen stuff, and internet.  What I don’t have is a way to have people there.  Which would make it permanent.

I don’t think I truly realized what I big step that was until a few days ago.  This is truly my space.  It is no one else’s.  It is scary, amazing, and truly inspiring.  I will be free from the co-dependency when I realize that I am doing this.  That this space is mine.  I created it, decorated it, and am living in it like an adult.

Moving on is painful and necessary.  This is another step into a journey of greatness.  As usual, my head gets in the way of my progress.  It’s not even my head, it’s my ego playing to my insecurities.  We are all in a battle in our own minds for dominance.  It always depends who wins the war, not the battle.  I will win this war at any cost.  Because I deserve better and so does every one else in my life.  It starts and ends with you.

Day 10, Gym 9

Updated for full report now that I’m more awake.

This is going to be short, and I’ll expand more on it tomorrow.  It was time to try the gym that women in the Lehigh Valley area all seem to be flocking to, Sweat Like a Girl in Nazareth, PA.  I signed up for a free class, it was fight club.  The class was awesome.  I was sweating quite a bit by the time we were done, and it was so much fun.  Another full body workout, and I mean every part of my body was worked.  The instructor, Amy, was pretty consistent with showing us form, rotation, and placement on the bag.  She seemed to pick up on the fact that at one time the music was too loud, and turned it down.  This was by far my favorite class so far.  It was a combination of community since we broke up into groups, all body workouts, and pushing yourself to the limit.  If you enjoy a kick ass workout that is all-encompassing, but so fun and efficient this is your class.

The vibe of the gym I would describe as low-level coolness.  I’m not sure how else to describe it; it’s understated but humming with energy.  It is unclear how clean it is; to be clear, the gym didn’t have an odor to it or appear dirty, but rags to clean and wipe down the equipment seemed a little spread out.  Hence the I’m not sure.  It could be clean as an ER floor for all I actually know.

The gym itself is a basic gym, which is fine for me.  I don’t need fancy equipment, pool, sauna,  etc.  I would like, however, is a place to shower after I’m done.  Sweat Like a Girl doesn’t have that.  So, if you want a gym that you can take a killer class, sweat, then shower, and go to work afterwards, this gym won’t work for you.  If you want to take a class after work, have the opportunity to go home in between events, or just budget time into do so, this gym is great.  If you want a kick-ass workout where you get sweaty, and then can go straight to work afterwards.  As far as actual basic gym equipment availability, I’m not sure how much they have.  I saw some free weights, mats, etc.  It’s a fairly small gym, and they probably have equipment they move in and out for classes.  It seems to be a gym that is geared towards classes and community.  It definitely has a friendly feel to it, even for my first time being there.  The friendliest gym I’ve been to yet, and very similar to Cornerstone in New Hope.

I think the cost of the gym is a slightly pricey for what you get, but not exorbitantly so.  It’s $50 per month for unlimited workouts if you get a contract, or you can purchase class passes.  It is $65 for month to month.  I absolutely loved, loved the class and the feel of the gym itself.  There’s also childcare available, if that is a need of yours.

All in all, though, upon reflection, the lack of showers is a small caveat.  Sweat like a Girl has been my favorite so far, but I’d have to see what other equipment they have available for it to be an all-purpose gym.  The vibe is great, the people are friendly and nice, and it truly did feel like a community even though it was my first class.  Bring baby wipes with you and do kind of the college shower, because you will sweat.

Day 8, Gym 7

Update on yesterday’s workout:  second workout where my abs felt a little sore when I laughed really hard.  Update on my fitness in general:  I can notice my pants are getting bigger again, which is good.  I can see definition building in my arms, and legs getting more muscular.  I wouldn’t call it definition in my abs yet, but I can feel the muscles developing and the pudge decreasing (quite rapidly).  It’s pretty damn satisfying 😀

This is really funny and true for fit girls, especially for trying on clothes (disclaimer not mine):

I have heard mixed reviews about LA Fitness in general, but in the effort of comprehensive and open-mindedness, I went to the Easton, PA location.  I liked the overall vibe of the place, which is incredibly important especially where you are opening your body and mind to cleansing and reset.  In terms of that, I think the only place that had a better vibe was Cornerstone.  I really liked the membership/trainer guy Darryl.  He seemed truly genuine about wanting to help people, gave me a tour right away, went over the classes and any questions I had, and then went over the membership details.

Added bonus when he asked what I did, and I said I helped teach people how to live a better life from the inside and out, his eyes lit up.  They also have a local business day for gym members where you can set up a table and basically say what you have to offer the community.  It’s also a private company where the two founders are still actively involved with each facility apparently, and it’s a month-to-month membership, so you are not locked in for an entire year.  All of that made me respect the gym a lot more than I had previously.

The gym itself was spacious, well-lit, seemed and smelled clean, and had plenty of equipment for whatever you wanted.  I did a quick free-weights workout with my shoulders and legs being the focus.  There’s also a basketball court and a small lap pool if that is your thing.  The only thing it seemed to be lacking is a TRX setup, but I didn’t get to ask for verification.  Also they use paper towels and foam to clean the equipment, which from a scientific perspective could be better.  Minor things, but just notices.  I got a three-day pass, which includes any classes I want to take.  For being a chain gym, I was pleasantly surprised.

Day 7, Gym 6

I wanted to see what bootcamp was like, so I went into a relatively new gym called Club Metro in Phillipsburg, NJ which I stumbled upon the other day.  The class is 45 minutes long, and when they say bootcamp, they aren’t messing around with that term.

The instructor was a bit older, but she could kick my ass into next week.  This is impressive, but also slightly embarrassing.  More so impressive, let me make that clear.  She really did “bark” out orders, and tell the class to do this and that very authoritatively.  It is called bootcamp for a reason, and I truly didn’t know what I was expecting.

I found the class very fast paced, not much in between time, and intense.  It was quite different than the class I had on Saturday with Ollie Thomas, which I personally prefer.  The classes were different, but not at the same time.  At this gym, it was less personal. For two reasons, there were a  lot less people in my class on Saturday, and just the style of teaching was different.  Saturday he really focused on my form and making sure I got the movement right.  Today, she said to do the form, but was not really instructing how except for a few times.  This could be because we were all doing it correctly, but I sincerely doubt that.  We were doing some not exactly intuitive moves and weight training in particular exercises.  There were a few times, I couldn’t see exactly what she was doing, and had to sit up to see.  This is not necessarily a criticism, just my personal observation, which is obviously subjective.

I personally don’t learn well by orders being barked at me, which while I’m sure well-intentioned and effective, are just not my preference.  The nice thing about this gym is there is a three day free pass, and the class was only $5.  I thought it was well worth the money.  I got a very effective, whole body, intense workout in under an hour.  The exercises were more intense than last Saturday, and I would prefer a hybrid of the two.   I don’t know yet.  As I continue doing this, and experiencing more gyms, I am narrowing down what I like and what I don’t.

Day 6, Gym 4

I am repeating one gym (Gold’s Gym)  because I had very little time today to find a gym, make an appointment, schedule something, and go before it would have kept me up all night.  Plus, it was the end of my three day pass.  I plan on doing two gyms on one day, anyway soon.  I felt like I should give my body a little break, although, I am not nearly as sore as I thought I’d be after really not working out much at all in the past couple of months.  Thanks to the combination of Arbonne Phytosport line, specifically the hydration and after workout, along with stretching before, during, and after exercise, I’ve for the most part been sore free.

hydration selfie

I have noticed that my stomach is getting tighter again, which is really good.  I didn’t get to take a before and after picture for a few different reasons.  I feel better, have more energy, and just getting out of the little cloud I was in.  It is doing exactly what I had hoped it would do.

Today I wanted to do strict cardio because I haven’t done that yet, and wanted to gauge my fitness level.  I did 12 minutes on the rowing machine, which is my favorite cardio to do in a gym (running, hiking for outside).  I did almost 2000 meters, which I thought was pretty good.  I held my own, too.  I didn’t get too winded, but I did start to feel it after about 7-8 minutes.  I have come to the conclusion that you can do all the circuit training, kickboxing, etc. that you want, and it is more fun than a piece of cardio equipment, but there is no substitute for straight cardio, unfortunately.  You take a pause in all the other ones, because you have to.  It doesn’t work without a break (even a 10 sec) one.  So, it’s time to get back to the love/hate relationship I think everyone has with cardio.  😉